beingme (poetry)

tryinanddfindinandtryinandlosinbutsallokayevenpeachyasalliknowiswhatidontknowandiembraceitbecausewhatelseistheretodofearitthatwouldbestupidinaccuratemeaninglessohfortheretobeahopethatwasrealisticarealitythatcouldberealarealthatiwouldwantembraceandchaseandloveandnowiknowthosethingsithoughtididn’tknowbutwasjustooscaredortoostupidortoomuchofjustamotherfuckertoreallyknowreallyunderstandreallyembracereallycarereallyfeelreallylovemydownfallismyselfiamthebottleneckiamtheweaknessiamthefearbutisntthatokayevenbeautifulevenatypeoflovelyevenatypeofperfectioncantmyweaknessbemystregthasidontfearwhoimnotandacceptwhoiamandwhoiwasandwhoimbecomingandwhoiamandwhoiamwhychaseperfectionwhenwewillnevergetthereoreverworsewedoanddiscoverjusthowboringitisnonoletmebeflawedletmelovemyflawsletmehowlhowlatthemoonawwoooooootherearetimesforpeacebutthentherearetimesforwarandmoregetsdoneinwarsoletmymindstayatwarthereisnopaxbarrettthereisonlynashguerreandichoosemywarwitheyesopenevenasasmilebecausewhatiswarexcepttheultimatetestwiththepleasurethatmywarisnotagainstotherpeoplewhoiwouldhurtandhurtisasininthebibleofmyheartnothiswarisonlyagainstmyselfandmyweaknessandmyflawsandimbarenuckledthermonucleartryingtobethebestversionofmyselfacknowledingthattheweaponsthatmayletmebeassymetricalaren’tmebeingperfectnoitsmyflawsthemselvesificanjustbehonestwithmyselfjustenoughthenwiththosethingsthatusedtokeepmeupatnighthatingmyselftheywillbethethingsthatletmewinletmewonderletmebethemeiwanttobeandcanbeandamifonlyisayyesyes