two lovelies
two characters
hands ready to catch a stumble
eyes always bumping
that look of love
that vision of perfection
it needs to have no meaning
it is not the reality
it is not real
but let’s fantasize
let’s be fantasy
in another life this could be real
we could call this normal
even the potential is still there
tantalizing us
yes, this life would be wonderful
but is this what we want
thinking that if we take all this
wondrous, yes
yet
but
weighed against the endless joys
around that next unseen bend
how can we know,
that this is so perfect
another night of laughs
we can admit it, can’t we?
the times have been good
yes
yet
as we live them
we appreciate their inevitable demise
another dance coming quickly to conclusion
another journeys miles becoming finite
this present laughter
will soon join the chorus of laughter
of all those lives we’ve already lived
those chapters already ended
the past lives that were wondrous
yet those past lives, mournfully
they were not spent with each other
now
confronted by that ever looming knowledge
the future lives we shall live
those future lives
full of different laughter
and different stories
that we will not spend with each other
mournfully
please
while we still orbit each other
may I take the time to tell you a truth
please
appreciate the endless wonders of infinite
their permutations swirling, so close
yes, yet, always invisible
vainly, we seek to touch the ethereal
to reassure ourselves that life is real
but what is real?
its absence of physical substance
it will raid your soul
it will leave you hollow
don’t let it
breathe the air
of an ever enchanted reality
of an ever holy life
of the endless wonders of infinite
angel darling
the one who isn’t for me
though in some other life
in a different deck of cards
where things aren’t so different
perhaps just one card off
yet the entire pick is deranged
is calling you angel darling
so fantastic?
this idealized wish
it is so close, just out of reach of the real
maybe even plausibly possible
yet to make this specific dream real
it must come at the expense of the wonderful present
to have the things I dream about
it would mean to not have the things I have
this life of mine
it is perfect
why do we second guess
what could have been
is exactly that
an acceptance of possibilities past
a bus never caught
a man never loved
it is not what is
it is not what isn’t
it is what we make of it
the acknowledgement of our compromises
those pleasant fantasies of a Saturday afternoon
coupled with that very real walk
arm in arm
in some nearby dimension
to hell with the possible
to hell with the fantastical
all I want
is whatever that is given me
and the ability to appreciate it
to love it
to ignore those day dream fantasies
to ignore these real life delusions
my friend,
lend me your life!
fly to the sun
accomplish the impossible
attain every dream
please:
ignore Icarus,
that warning against greatness
that deity of the possible
it imbues fear
it breeds complacency
it makes us settle for the average
(that wretchedlovely average)
at the expense of the holy
fuck it
May the sun burn us
may our wings catch no more air
and lift us no closer to nirvana
may we plummet and perish
and with hope
may we be able to say
despite destruction
despite despair
despite Death
for a moment
we truly flew
we tried
we tried
and once we lose our fear
we can truly set about the hard work
of attaining that impossible nirvana
of finding what we thought was just a dream
our perfect lives
there is no secret
or at least, certainly,
the secret is not hidden
please
simply stop searching for beauty
those places you look
isolated pinpricks of light
in the majestic endless canvas of the sky
are only those spots
where you find those lush revelations
whose image you’ve already imagined the answer to
my question
my criticism
is
do those tangible things you search for
so long dreamed for
once found:
do they taste so different then your envisionment?
do they taste different then how your mind depicted them?
no, to me it is no
no
no
forsaken answer: no
the secret is
after many a wretched life wasted would regale
as soon as one comes to appreciate
ones endless periphery of vision
one comes to understand that life is endless
and endless wonders populate our infinites
look anywhere and see beauty
look somewhere you don’t expect beauty
and what you will see
i promise you
is that unexpected beauty
That I pray for you to appreciate
that sublime wonder
that every atom
and every star
teems with
now
we must applaud
that sublime starry equation
that work of art that we are
that work of art we are becoming
now
now separate
we must applaud
those endless perfections
of the true gods vision
life is about choice
life is about variables
to change one choice
to change one variable
is to change the hegemonic whole
to want a small thing different
is to want the whole different
such a thing is unfathomable
but this current day
it feels right
why change
a perfect present
finally,
endlessly,
may we truly chat
one on one
mano a mano
may I tell you what I think
and finally let myself
listen to that subtle spirit
living forever in my chest
that feel deep inside me
which will forever be associated with your name
i wish that spirit would talk inside me forever
i wish the impossible, sadly
instead
now
i will say
i will say to you
what beauties the world is full of
their overwhelming multitude
we are not prepared to understand
watch life everywhere
truly: try,
but can one really see?
every ever blooming flower
so close
every flitting smile
on some young passing girl
whose lovely progenitor
never enters your mind.
we never understand
we do not understand any of this
we are swimming through the seas of life
just struggling to stay afloat
just struggling to do our very best
and know,
that while I do not know why
for awhile
while I was here,
with you
in that time that no longer exists
or is at least quickly fading
I did not care
we were together
we were the universe
and for a time
it was enough
life was alive
and to say we laughed
it may be enough
it may have to be enough
we will disappear
we may never see one another again
but we were
and to be
to truly be
is enough