Category: Poetry

just a quick memory of this moment

stone sage and sailor

zipline in the backyard of that blue house

bright blue with red insides

video games and innocence

this isn’t the life dreamed of

but maybe it should be

 

a flash and a fade

a flash with a hint of fate

a flash and a fade

is that all that my life has been

all sparks

so much attempt at illumination

so much beauty seen in the shadows

all flash

and just a fade

 

it’s sunny

so it’s perfect

 

disappearing and forever

always disappearing and forever

always that prayer for something bigger

the quest towards the absolute

or the awe at those mysteries

what about something tangible

what about not worshiping the wall

or failing to break through it

instead there is just the quest for the quiet noble

to build it slowly

spend a life on it

brick by brick

and the finished product

whatever it is

will be yours

 

be better than yourself

 

trying to move forward

I don’t want to talk about love

there has to be a feeling above

that means morr than all this fluff

but life is beating me rough

maybe all this shit can get stuffed

another punch to the face

by a girl who thinks I’m a disgrace

and now look at me, I’m lowered

 

sitting bangin keys at the table

wanna pretend my life is a fable

wondering where my friends have gone

they treat me like I don’t belong

I guess the joke can be on them

cause I don’t really give a damn

even though my brain seems slammed

 

 

 

let  me say the word bliss

tomorrow is difficult

yesterday a memory

but right now, in all it’s imperfect decadence

it is ok

let us even say it is perfect

I am unsure of the future

I am unsure of the past

I am unsure of today

but let this today mean something

are we not happy

 

 

 

 

clouds or fog
heavens or the sky
just perception
alterable as rain becomes lovely
going from the dark storm
to that soft pitter patter
on the roof just before sleep

we have to go somewhere
there is an attempt to go somewhere
just don’t know where yet
don’t even know why
but it is a type of truth to try
and try we will
yet inevitably unsuccessful
trying vainly to speak that language of eyes
in a description of the colors of another spectrum
we will fail
and we will fail again
and again, and again
another futile raid on the inarticulate
another lovely attempt squandered
yet: the emotion does exist
I promise
it is everywhere
touchable, breathable
just never on my tongue
so let’s waste words and time
let’s take a look again, one more time
and see if we can describe
the indescribable

holloweyes everywhere
unblinking, where can we stare
and be stared back at
real recognition
a futile life’s quest
yet sadly alluring
all we have is miscommunication
the ununderstood foreign
sublimely,
like standing on a cliff
one has the choice to stare at hell
or to stare at the endless sky

yet

rapture becomes addictive
forever looking at rainbows
filled with bliss forever
never thinking
what other wonders
the endless sky is full of

yet

you have to realize a truth
not all truth, but one forceful wave
crossing through an endless sea
it is stated like this:
cast aside seconds
those boxes trapping perception
as one casts aside miles on a walk
or the word count when one speaks
think only of the journey
long or short not a meaningful variable.
with infinite as a measure
there is just forever
and what you make of it

so now make something
make me something
please
see me and love me
universally regard me as a someone
a someone to read about in books
a someone to see in the stars
yes please, really, gnash with that primordial egoism
it is in us all
all one should really want
perfection
and for all the others
the non us’s
with their stares biting into our souls
tearing into our serenity
ignorant of personal mental causality
judges without giving a chance
lacking the realization:
there has to be bravery
easy to look at the different as a liar, sinner
evil
truly
on knees a true god begs

children of men: Arise!
express the true revocation of fear
be strong enough!
to want to be outwardly perfect
yes

yet

you must cast temptation aside
you must embrace chants of sinner
may the hurled stones strike flesh
it’s all nothing
to be yourself
to be true to yourself
to attain inner perfection
to live with honesty
yet, devastatingly
with honesty comes epiphany
we`re all chanters

lost in a mob
singing singing
desiring what everyone desires
but time sees us all the same
waiting to grind us down
run through the mill of endless routine
at great cost trying to maintain perpetual motion
forever in that abstract direction FORWARD
there is another way
there has to be another way
Life for the livers must exist
lie or truth: no difference
there can still (must) be magic
there is still love in the world
atom to tree to moon to constellation
change the course
fuck forward
look for the promised fruits of an afterlife
in a re-enchanted reality
where every prayer for beauty
is answered with a blink of the eye

so heart
yes my heart
my mirror, my special mirror
the window through which I see what I’m not
as entropy carries us into chaos
and marriage as likely as universal absence
I beg you
touch what it is to live
to live a life that tears realities fallacies to pieces
pray in the temple of your consciousness
pray like this:
I will not suffer under the pursuit of happiness
benevolent temptress: I renounce
yes
I will leave perfect happiness as a fallacy
like perfectlove and perfectart
I will chase nirvana
and when she finally deigns to see me
insignificant little me
I will let her in
jesus allah Buddha nature
she is all the same
and heavenly
she will satisfy
I exist
I exist
I exist