Author: Barrett

Defining through my own type of madness
Feet failing me
Body buckling
Every moment gravity weigh weigh weighing
Every moment, knowing it is not the moment
Looking into the darkness
And praying to see light
Praying to see a way forward

Dancing in a circle
Hand in hand
Smiles on faces
Do memories like that happen again
There are so few chances in life
To be alive
Why couldn’t you know
That this moment
This moment right now
Might be the happiest of your life
Never to return

In the waking time
In the lost time
Sniffing the air
Hoping to smell it sweet
How am I How am I How am I
So flawed
How am I How am I How am I
Not the person I want to be
To know to know
The right way forward
And feet failing me
Brain failing me
Failing myself
Falling into myself
Falling
Falling down
Falling

In that space again
The dark space
Chest tight
Eyes open
Can’t I BE better
Can’t I be more perfect?
Less flawed
Less me
Stare into the mirror
And the void stares back at you

Medicated again
In control
Not thinking,
Or, not thinking about thinking
Brain free
Dancing, living, flying
Tomorrow can go fuck itself
Dying Killing Ruining
But no pain right now
No pain no pain no gain no pain no pain
Don’t got anything on my mind
Not even my mind
Free free be be free free be be
Fly die high cry sigh lie fry fry
Let it let it let it let it letitletitletit
And we all fall down

Can’t we do it all over again
I would
I would
I would do it differently
I would be different
I wouldn’t be myself
Out of my head
I would be a different head
Sacrifice my magic
And the weight weight pain
Sacrifice my magic
Sacrifice my magic
Sacrifice my
Sacrifice my
And we all fall down

Anonymous in the streets
Free
Feeling
All these ghosts whispering past me
Brains screeching in their heads
Is this what everyone is like
Is this how everyone feels
The scream of my mind
Shut up
Shut up
Shut up
Give me a helmet, yeah!
Shut up
Shut up
How are we all standing so high
All this gravity
All this weight
How are we how are we
Why are we
Why are we
Punch myself
Wake the fuck up
More less, less more
Up down, scream, bleed
Free
Free me
Free me
Bleed me
Free me
Free

Do do do do
Do you feel like this
Can’t I ask you
Am I the only
The only one
Am I the only one who has these thorns
Digging into my thoughts
Hate me hate me look down on me shit on me hate me the the the the the the the the the
Motherfucker
Let me escape my mind
Let me escape the mirror
Punch it hurt it fight it bleed it scream at it
Hate it hate it
Fly it fly fry
Can’t we can’t I can’t can’t
Do you feel like this is this what you feel like are you feeling alone can I be there for you doesn’t everyone need someone there can’t we we we be be can’t we just say yeah yeah yeah
I love you because you are worth loving
You shouldn’t hate yourself
Don’t cut yourself
Let me take those hands
And hold them
And look look look look
In your big old eyes, seeing that fear
Wild
Reflected in both our eyes
Let’s fight the world together
I won’t be alone with you
You’ll never be alone with me
We are not separate
We are not one
We are the answer to each other’s question
The ying to yang
The sun to moon
A dream a dream
That when I wake
And I see the others the others who live the dream
Dancing gracefully
Hands that gently touch
Hugs that look comfortable
Let me glide through my ice
Strong strong
What could break through my fortress
When I have spent my entire life
Breaking myself
No purpose on stepping on a broken glass
You’ll just cut your feet

Dream again
Walk out again
Smile again
Do you see my darkness
Let me flee the darkness
My complaints and sadness and and and
Let me flee my darkness
Self made prison
My defenses atrophied
The easiest chains to break
Flee myself
To become myself
Not look at those who I wish I could be
But keep climbing
Keep praying to see the sunlight
Pretend my chains are wings
And I will fly
I will fly
Free from me
And then find the sun

Cancel the beauty
Stare in the sky
See nothing worth remembering
Lost in the silence
Lost in my mind
I don’t know if this is the best me
How can it be that the sands of time run so fast
That when I used to dream
I would dream so big
And now
And now
It is not just dreaming small
It is the lack of a dream
A lack of the capacity to dream
It’s gone, lost fluttered
Life is not a nightmare
It has its type of beauty
I breathe the air
And can taste former blue days
When the sky was bigger than god
And god was in my soul
Those days are rarer, but still flutter by
Every now and again
I still have the sand going through my hands
It is time to start dreaming again
It is time to start dreaming again
It is time to start dreaming again
While there are still dreams left to dream

And into and into and into
And into and into and into
A type of darkness
The world swells how
Where is it where is it
It was here here
Where has it gone

Someone praying
To become better
To flee weakness
To become better
To flee ourselves
What if this weakness
Is all that we are

Into the middle way
The middle years
The lost years
Was the magic in my mind gone gone?
Atrophication
Where has the magic gone
Was it ever really there?
Couldn’t I have done more than this?
Didn’t I used to dream bigger than this?

Do you remember walking through the field
That little bridge, I thought maybe we’d fall
The grass so green
We’d never been there before
I haven’t been since
I didn’t want to hold your hand
But I did want to love you
In my own way, the walled way
How can that have been so long ago
Where here I can feel it
Fall into the conversation
I remember stepping on the bridge and turning around
This big grin
Grabbing your hand
I did hold your hand
And take you over

Do you remember being in line together?
I was so arrogant, and then humbled
The things that I am good at nobody cared
And in my weakness
It is the only time anyone has loved me

Lost lost lost
Never found
Passing, like tree rings.
Starting at birth in the center
Then delicately going farther from birth
Every day growing
But seeing the tortured oblivion of the edge
Time as a one way master
Does it have to be this way?

A quick hello over WhatsApp
You say you miss me
And I wonder
What it is to miss
Do we even like each other?
Or is that not the point
Of missing
Who are you
Who are we
Is there something in me I cannot communicate you
A way I imagine holding you,
A way I imagine the two of us
Staring in the eyes of each other
Inbetween people
Both lost from ourselves
Knowing the other person needs connection
But too far in ourselves
To be able to be the bridge
For the other

And who am I
Right now
Without a mirror
dissapearing in my mind
dissapeared in my mind
dunno what the what
but a quick primal scream
and who am I
who am I

primus in my hand
laptop in front of me
a laptop at a night club
why am I that fucking guy

head a bit disjointed
the long ways a being here
there is a here here
there is a feeling a capture a sactity
can this be family
all this lonelisness and a wanderin
a bein
who cares what a being is
who cases what a truth is
in my head my head my head my head
pray prey
I’ve used that before
dreaming looking
aint there
knowin that this writing
is a sign of being in between
but if I know what the past is
then what is the future

tearin ripping cryin being
look me in the fucking eye
can’tcha see this aint be the be, be
let go and love and wander
just let the words be true
this is true if I am not
flawed carrier
life disappears
as the song changes
and it is something new now

and we dig darker
we dig deeper
who is we
there is a we, yeah?
like, here there is a a
pitter patter on a keyboard
and it is just me
but what keeps me here
is the idea of you
can’t you
canchu
can’t we
feel feel
be be
do yous got your own ideas in your head?
even if it aint be we together
there is nothing in my except who I am
and I follow and I fall and I’m fallow
a bit of a devil but that’s grandiose
pray prey pray prey prey pray wander
fear
and I shout!

And I say to you
let’s start let’s start
and I dunno where it goes
but let’s hope or pray or whatever
that it goes somewhere

I dont want to go anywhere
I want to be home everywhere.
In a bar with a cup of fuming tea and a cigarette>
That is how I want to live my life

i cannot wait to put a face on this fantasy of me and you…its oily …and groovy…
there is music to it…the kind the will keep having me thinking of you waaayyy after….where are you???

condemned to have fun
Kigali is not so bad for that

A place where magic happens

that ws nice for me you know
that was honest

And I say to you
I am lost in my mind
and i am scared
but who are you?

When their dance reach the perfect harmony.

a swirming squirming sneaky persistant mindworm detinating grenades in your brain!

am so fucking hiiiiiiiiiigh

iam happy and always positive

what is happining herer woaw ….

doesnt matter… here we go !!!

wanna socialize and know more people from all countries ,all cultures

sketch be’s a be / seein seen down dawn down / flow / row / reap what you sow / slay ray pray day pain bane sane / lost / updownohsidesise / lie / who’s a who’s a who’s / climb to fall / swim to drown / gravity be a pullin / life be a pilin / s’all down down into the ground / what’s the matta / death aint be the strange / it’s the life we’s neva suspected / how’d this tree get an imac / who’d ever asked to see / but here’s we see / here’s we be / just tryin to decipher / what’s it all mean / who’se be a god / if there aint be no clouds / when we’d pray / do we care if the voice is heard / shriek at the night / the thief / stealin the day / that we didn’t know / didn’t know / was to be ours / what’s be next / why think about later / when this here moment / be a slippin / be a something we need / I aint ready for the other / but who ever asked a me? / the walls fall down / just mud and ash / what was the point of all this light / does a super nova feel pain / it’s purpose was to burn / and it burn out out / what’s be the point / what’s be the non point / dirt be dirt / does it gotta be more? / aint it enough / to grow flowers / seeds that become trees / be the buildin blocks of stardust / how dare we’s forget that this be magic / that god has answered prayer / we just look forward instead of back / aint just bein here enough / what would more look like / why’s would we want more’s anyway / you ask the day as it dies / it don’t say I look to tomorrow / it tells you / it tells you / that today was how the day was was / and it be a universe and a type of infinite / a type of madness to want want want / let us flow through our lives / always at past present and future / touch our deaths with one hand / our births with the other / and who we are today / is all there’s be / is all’s we be

godsbeesanangel
whassabeea
seefeel
be
realmaybewhytry
hazza
bwa
check
da da da
fly away! way away away
hooray
pray
say what
oh knows grows what why again
slip slip slip
wrippery slay
i was gonna be a something
a whazza a reals a be be
whooda thought
whooda not thought

hey heys you
hey hey hey
whatsupder!
in that big ol head
behind those big ol eyes
you think you got gods numba of smiles
you think you got gods number of love
idunnoidunnoidunno
but who says there is a number
gottabe the other
the otherotherother
bes only you
and see if you be you
smiles and hope
buts they aint the root
they be the end

And He said ‘pray like this’

As I become a tree
Fleeing the cannibalism of man,
Into the metamorphosis of the oak
I will turn off my brain
That over evolved tumor
Instead
I Breathe in
The world is perfect
Every moment awakening
I Breathe out
Share nirvana
Every moment at peace
I believe in my heart
My purpose is to add magic to the world
May my leaves give protection
May my seeds lead to a new generation
Saint Pharaoh Superman Buddha Flower
May I rise towards the sun
Then, with whatever magic there is in me, that vestige of stardust
Then, with whatever magic the world has given me, air full of love
May I bloom