Sitting patiently
Waiting
Waiting
For the glory of gods embrace
To leave all we have known for the next great nirvana
For the illumination that will be revealed
By whatever form god may be
Deity on a cloud
Bearded patriarch
Or the wisdom of reincarnation
Meaningless
She sees us all the same
Not as a man, nor as dust
But holily, as a life
Something that was conscious
Something that had the chance to be a part of glorious creation
Something to gaze upon perfection
The audience for the sublime performance
She loves us
Little us
As a painter might love a work
Knowing not which individual stroke make the whole so perfect
Rather, cherishing the collective
The universal
We are the fruit of life
The watchers of the universe
The art of god
We have had this privilege
And we will have it taken from us
Fortunately
Let all creation get to touch consciousness
And when we find ourselves again
As dust or a star
We must enjoy it also
A different sort of pleasure
A different stage in the metamorphosis
Of our infinite lives
Forever holy
Forever blessed
While we wait in this present state
We have to choose
To believe in nothing
And let life slip away
Attempting to out wait time
Or
To find something to believe in
Something for the boredom of consciousness
It need not be convoluted
Perhaps the sun will rise tomorrow
Perhaps god sits on a throne
The belief itself is meaningless
Nothing
What connotates resonance
Is the dedication applied to idle fantasy
The attempt at attainment
Yes, verily
Life is nothing
Yet, verily
It is this same nothingness that lets star`s supernova
And flowers bloom in valleys filled with birdsong
This is human life
This nothing
It is pretty, yes
Is that enough?
Who can say
Shhhh, let me whisper in your ear
What if being pretty is the meaning of life?
If this is not enough
Then you will swim in seas roiled by disappointment
Sadly
For many this is not enough
Truly
For an animal that can fabricate gods
The infinite holy in day to day life is forgotten
Since it exists for the sake of existing, not for the sake of man
However, if this miniscule tidbit that is offered
Does not take away the hunger for a perfect life
One has, again, the other choice
To attempt to outwait time
To let life slip away
To believe in nothing
If this is the mission of life
Then with tragic realization
We must realize life is about hard choices
We find ourselves today
This present day
Past the difficult forks in the road
Do we even remember choosing?
And alas, the choices are finished
We shuttle towards the end
Momentum building upon momentum
While that insidious part of our mind to do with regret
Is in throes of agony
All those paths that we will never walk down
All those lives that we will never live
Could we have done better
Yes
Yes
Yes
Oh, the masterpieces that might have been
With those colours we never took the time to create
Yes
Yes
Yes
Weakness is universal
Weakness is in the id of man
Yet
Weakness is no excuse for missed perfection
We need to be the first perfect specimen
An example to illuminate humanity
And rather, we buckle
Another example of perfections impossibility
Weakness speaks with honeyed voices
Life is finite, and the universe is infinite
There must be compromises!
It is logical
It is true
And fuck you truth, bane to beauty
Your truth has tainted our potential
Made us believe in the inevitability of compromise
And after this logic
The dominoes fell themselves
Taking us to this unreal place
That we call the present
Buried deepest
Most personally
Till a person accepts it as a part of character
Rather than a free choice
Is that belief a person is either a lightbulb or a laser
I know this choice has feasted on my edible dreams
On one side
To see the universe superficially
To fly wherever one goes
To skim the entire world
But to never truly land, nest, and live
To be like that softest lightbulb
To illuminate everything
With never truly revealing anything
Then
The other paradigm
To truly reveal something
But that is everything
Like seeing and knowing a single star
And the other stars
In other constellations
Of the endless night sky of ignorance
Are ignored
And worse
Not lusted for
Both these choices have rational logic
If a man is a light bulb
He might never make anything
But he will know the shape of existence
If a man is a laser
He might never know the shape of existence
But he will have made something
Yes, each has rationality
But what does rationality know about passion
Perfection and passion are oxymoronic
Perfection is the blight of daytime misery
With the thought that life is like a mountain
One merely needs to climb high
And eventually, the summit is here
A good life is like a succession of dominoes
As long as you go forward
You will reach the end
But passion
The wind of my sleep time fog
Is like a bird
Simply fly up the mountain
Ignore if you have no wings
Fabricate them
Better yet: fly anywhere
Or nowhere
Yes, this seems correct
To abandon the quest to run through endless dominoes
To abandon the attempt to go as far as any man
To abandon the attempt to find the end
Because what does it gain a man
But a lot of dominoes
What I want
Yes me
Perhaps because it`s what I have never had
Is for momentum to pause
To come to a stop
Fuck forward
What is it here
What is it that I have discovered
What is it that this little dot of a laser adds to life
Or that a light bulb illuminates
Nothing
Nothing in isolation
They are the same
Symbiotic to each other
And to live irrationally but with verity
One has to chase the whole
Chase nothing
What is beautiful is not in some direction
No
It is right here
Dangerous to logic but perfect for passion
They are good things
Beautiful things
The things worth living for
The sunshine of another world
That for known reasons we deny ourselves
Illogical
This dark girl in my bed
Playing with unnamed children
Illogical
But these are the blocks
Of the true perfect life
A life not enslaved to the living
But rather, a life where a man is alive
Imbued with true consciousness
Not just breathing
Holily,
Alive